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the achiness in his voice,
the way he moans and breathes, it's heavy, it's all so heavy I feel like I'm giving so much of myself to people that literally don't think twice about me.
I'm losing little pieces of me, I can honesty feel it. And the sad part is, I knowingly let it happen. I don't know why.   Mysterious Skin (2004) "I wish there was some way for us to go back and undo the past. But there wasn't. There was nothing we could do. So I just stayed silent and trying to telepathically communicate how sorry I was about what had happened. And I thought of all the grief and sadness and fucked up suffering in the world, and it made me want to escape. I wished with all my heart that we could just leave this world behind. Rise like two angels in the night and magically disappear."
 A Ghost Story (2017) "We build our legacy piece by piece and maybe the whole world will remember you or maybe just a couple of people, but you do what you can to make sure you're still around after you're gone."
when you're passionate about so many things,
and feel so deeply and you have so many ideas, some good, some bad, a few gems there are things you want to do, things you want to make things that could mean something to someone, things that mean something to you it's hard when those ideas don't exist, they're just thoughts, really and it'd be so difficult to make those ideas, real i just want to make those ideas real  Precious (2009) "The other day, I cried. But you know what? Fuck that day. That's why God, or whoever, makes other days."
I keep feeling like my life will change drastically soon.
Not sure why. Watch, it won't.   Notes on a Scandal (2006) "People like Sheba think they know what it is to be lonely. But of the drip, drip of the long-haul, no-end-in-sight solitude, they know nothing. What it's like to construct an entire weekend around a visit to the launderette. Or to be so chronically untouched that the accidental brush of a bus conductor's hand sends a jolt of longing straight to your groin. Of this, Sheba and her like have no clue."
  Her (2013) "Tonight, after you were gone, I thought a lot. About you and how you've been treating me and I thought, "Why do I love you?" And then, I felt everything in me just let go of everything I was holding onto so tightly. And it hit me that I don't have an intellectual reason. I don't need one. I trust myself, I trust my feelings. I'm not gonna try to be anything other than who I am anymore and I hope you can accept that."
I walked down the store aisles.
I saw you with your parents. It was so strange to me. I never stopped to think that you might actually have a family.  Marie Antoinette (2006) "Letting everyone down would be my greatest unhappiness."
You said I wasn't what you were looking for.
I was in a rut that I thought would last forever. Then a day passed, and I forgot about you.  Pariah (2011) "Heartbreak opens onto the sunrise for even breaking is opening and I am broken, I am open. Broken into the new life without pushing in, open to the possibilities within, pushing out. See the love shine in through my cracks? See the light shine out through me? I am broken, I am open, I am broken open. See the love light shining through me, shining through my cracks, through the gaps. My spirit takes journey, my spirit takes flight, could not have risen otherwise and I am not running, I am choosing. Running is not a choice from the breaking. Breaking is freeing, broken is freedom. I am not broken, I am free."
I think about how boring everyone must think I am.
If they only knew half the shit I get myself into. |
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