Red and passionate like you always were

Purple on the surface 

Green in what I'll never know

Orange in the way you used to laugh

Pink in the softness of your touch

Yellow and I'm happy

Blue and I'm sad again

Brown in the way I lost you

Gray and you start to fade away

Black then I forgot your face

White and I can't remember you anymore

edge of the cliff,
i'm looking down.
my legs are stiff,
i know i'll drown.

it starts to rain,
flashes of lightning.
my body aches,
fists are tightening.

the end is near,
i feel so small.
no room for fear,
i step and fall.

i close my eyes,
sounds of thunder.
say my goodbyes,
the bricks pull me under.

I've blown you off twice now.
I really don't know why.
It seems like this is easy for you.
Just know, it's actually very hard for me.
But here's something I haven't told you,
I can't stop thinking about you.
I've blown you off twice now,
but I don't think I'll let it get to three.

When I'm with her, I lose track of time.

It's almost as if every moment of her life, she's having fun.
​I wish I was like that. I wish I was more like her.

She cares about so many things. She's passionate.
But she spreads herself thin.
Sometimes I notice she's not always there with me.

She helps me though.

Her playfulness distracts me.
She takes me to places I would never think of going.

She likes me, I think.
But she probably likes the idea of me liking her even more.

She'd love that I'm writing about her.

When I take her picture, she smiles.
The thing with her is, when she smiles, I really think she means it.

She's very careful. She comes in and out of my life without leaving a trace.
But sometimes she's messy and she leaves something with me.
​It's either a giggle or a grin or just the essence of a girl who always has fun.

I'm lying on my bed.
I can't see the rain,
but I can hear it.
It's cold,
but I don't feel it.
​I'm thinking of you.

Everyday I wish for the same shit.
I wish for you,
I wish for me.
I wish i didn't have to wish.

I look at you.
You can't see me.
You could, but you never would.

You look in my direction, right through me.
It's like nothing.

I roll my eyes and watch you leave.
I'm annoyed and you didn't even do anything wrong.

Whatever, I think to myself.
Fuck you.

He gets my attention.
I engage.
It's harmless, I think to myself.
He talks fast, with purpose,
but it's too much.
He forces his words on me.

Before I know it,
I'm suffocating.

Two of them missing, 
probably reminiscing. 
​
They went to get weed before 2am.
They came back, eyes red.

this fucking close

this fucking far

never close enough

be tough
be rough

men don't write poetry
​fuck this